I know what it’s like to be you. I am you.
It’s painful, isn’t it? Never living up to your own standards.
That voice that’s on repeat, the one that tells you that in one way or another, you’re not good enough, is relentless. You’re probably so used to it that you don’t even notice it anymore. You probably never did.
So of course you’re not good enough. That mofo is pretty darned convincing.
You don’t look as good as you want to, you’re not as cool or knowledgeable as everyone else. If only you could be better, if only you could be like them, if only you had more stuff and more awe-inspiring experiences under your belt.
Then you can be happy. After then, you can breathe a sigh of relief.
But that moment never comes.
You’re not happy, are you? Even after twisting yourself into shapes and exceeding expectations – at least other people’s, if not your own – even after you bought that new pair of shoes that would make you “look better” on Instagram, and even after “perfecting” a yoga posture. Are you still happy? Or are you still after more?
What about what’s on the inside?
Isn’t all that dissatisfaction eating you up, bit by bit? Like a parasite?
Because when you’re a perfectionist, it is never enough. You are never enough. People are never enough. Life is never enough.
My dear fellow perfectionist, you know that voice in your head, the one that plays on repeat, telling you that whatever it is you do, you’ll never do it well enough? You’re the one who feeds it. I am sorry to say.
But it’s okay. Now that you know, you can starve it. Your inner bully thrives on your belief in its words.
You can silence it, even after all these years of giving it a home, of allowing it to take up space and eat away at the truth. You now know for just how long it has overstayed its welcome.
Don’t look for things outside of you – especially not when you are healing.
And we are always growing and healing. Let yourself grow by letting go, at least just a little.
No one will tell you just how scary and difficult it can be to let go. To loosen your grip.
In your own time.
No use in rushing.
You are much stronger than you know, and the light you’re looking for is already there. No need to mask it by willing yourself to be so-called “perfect.”
Just let it be. Smile at the sun. Know that who you are, right here and right now, is enough.
nothing will ever be enough.
Not you, and not the world around you.
So learn to love yourself. Just like any new skill, it takes practice. But self-love, compassion, gratitude, and acceptance will be your strongest weapons, if only you nurture them and let them grow. If only you believe in the good that is already in you, waiting to be found, waiting to be cherished.
You are not alone. Remember that.
Remember that you can control the voice you feed. And when you can remember, always lead with love.