For those of us who are control freaks, accepting things as they are is no easy feat. But attaching your wellbeing to the need for things to be a certain way is a surefire way to feel stuck in an unhappy place.
It might sound counterintuitive, but you can only achieve your goals through acceptance of your current reality. When you accept things for what they are, it means you’re embracing the reality of your life. From that standpoint, you’ll be able to make the best decisions based on where you are right now.
Unexpected, unpleasant things happen all the time. What determines how we cope with things that are out of our control is how we react to them. When you accept something, you can finally let it go. And once you let go of its grip on your life, you can start moving towards something better. Your setting a new target and taking action will both be consequences of that acceptance.
On the other hand, when you resist everything that comes your way, you become a victim of your circumstances. You let things rule your mood, your relationships, and your life.
Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. – William James
Acceptance doesn’t mean that you deny negative emotions or experiences. It doesn’t mean that you should strive to be happy with every single thing in your life, even the things you dread the most. It means acknowledging the good and the bad, and accepting everything for what it is.
So if you’re mad, you’re mad and if you’re sad, you’re sad. Denial will catch up to you, but so will playing the victim. Learn to acknowledge and validate your own feelings, without letting them control you.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. – C.S. Lewis
Let’s say that, at the moment, you’re not making as much money as you would like. You’re living paycheck to paycheck, constantly struggling to make ends meet. While you’re working to build a better financial future, it makes more sense to start exactly where you are. Right?
It doesn’t matter what image you portray to others. Don’t worry about keeping up with what people on Instagram are showing off. What matters is your ability to live in line with your current situation and your values. Accepting that you’re getting paid a lot less than you would ideally like, for example, does not mean that your circumstances will never change. And it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) create an excuse to stop working hard. It just puts you in the best place to, you know, start really living within your means, and to maybe stop procrastinating on starting that side business.
So whatever your goals are this year, no matter what life brings your way, remember that the first step to creating change is acceptance of what is.
I hope this inspires you while setting goals throughout the year! Wishing you all a wonderful and prosperous 2017.
I’d love to hear about any experience you’ve had with learning to accept things, and how that may have changed things in your life. Let me know!