How often do you feel behind in your life? For those of us who lead a life of comparison, we’ll always feel left behind in some way. Until we learn to trust in the timing of our lives, we’ll always feel afraid. And we’ll always feel like we are lacking in something.
When I hit my mid-twenties, there was a shift in my mindset. I felt like I started running out of time. While I was still pathetically struggling, it seemed like everyone around me was getting engaged, felt secure in their careers, and was having far more exciting adventures than I could even dream of.
As I soon realized, all that comparison is frankly ridiculous. When you feel alone in the struggle, it seems like everyone has it all figured out. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Life is a journey, and everyone is on their own path.
The myth of the milestone
Feeling stressed because some people are hitting milestones before you are is just doing yourself a disservice. While you’re busy assessing just how much you’re lacking in comparison to others, remember that they’re probably doing the same.
Each and every one of us is completely different. Even twins born and raised in the same household will still be different. We all have a different set of skills, experiences, personalities, backgrounds, and goals. That’s why it’s so silly to expect everyone to have the same journey.
Be patient with yourself, and don’t be ashamed of your timing. As long as you stay in your own lane, you can’t really be lead astray.
If I feel a little left behind, I remember two things:
1. If you look beneath the surface, nothing is really what it seems.
From a distance, what we see often seems perfect. We believe that other people’s lives are better because we see what we desire from it. We see the good in others’ lives, and the bad in ours. But nothing is truly perfect. Just like there’s good in the bad, there’s bad in the good. Look beyond what you see.
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your own grass it would be just as green.
Instead of spending all your energy lusting after someone else’s rose bushes, take care of your own and see how they bloom.
2. Everyone has different things, and everyone wants different things.
When it comes to relationships, careers, and anything else in life, we’re all trying to make the most of what we’ve been given. We each have different gifts, and we each have different desires. It’s enough to focus on what steps you can take to better your own life, in your own way.
It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing. It matters what YOU are doing.
There is no set timeline to follow. That’s just a myth. Everyone is on their own path… trust the one you’re on.
Most of all, life has taught me to trust in the timing of things. Nothing just happens. Events, signs, portents (and even problems) occur when they need to occur. If something needs to be taken care, of, it needs to be taken care of. If something is not meant to be, then it is not meant to be — for reasons that you may never even know. You can fight against the timing of your life, or you can trust in it. The flow and the peace will only return when you learn to trust. – Elizabeth Gilbert